It’s Zombie season! Halloween decor is already beginning to line the streets with witches, ghosts, monsters …. and ZOMBIES. And with the season premier of The Walking Dead looming on the horizon (a mere 3 days away), I’m all aflutter with the living dead.
Nobody wants to be caught in the dark with a drooling, moaning, rotting Zombie hoard, am I right? Take note fellow survivors, we’ve compiled a list of 9 must-have zombie-apocalypse light sources.
1. Solar and Battery-Operated Lights
Powered by the energy of the sun, you’ll never have to make a dangerous trip into the city to get more batteries with Solar LED spotlights. If you prefer the adrenaline rush of city trips, you may want to position battery-operated motion-sensor spotlights around your campsite to alert you to any sneaky Zombies. Take them with you when you’re doing late night reconnaissance. Doomsday Tip: Make sure there is an off-switch. Nothing worse than trying to douse your light with a zombie on your trail.
2. Good ol’ fashioned Flashlight
Honestly this is anything but an old-fashioned flashlight. This thing has so many Zombie-fighting features I can barely stand it. It’s a hand-crankable, glow-in-the-dark, siren-emitting, radio-playing, cell phone charging Zombie-fighting machine. Oh, and it’s a flashlight.
3. Bleach & Water Bulb
It can get dark with all of the windows boarded up. Shine a little light on your doomsday party with this genius of an invention that will refract light without a power source.
4. Crayola Candle
In a pinch, a crayon will burn for about 30 minutes, and the paper acts as its own wick.
5. Everlasting Crisco Candle
With the demise of the world as we know it, chances are good that the Playstation 4 and Xbox One are also history. So those little Crayolas may be a highly valued commodity for bored post-apocalyptic children. In this case, we recommend the Everlasting Crisco Candle!
It’s solar powered, water-resistant and it can float. (Aside: Can Zombie’s swim? Based on the fact that they can’t remove a seatbelt or climb stairs I’m guessing not. So why don’t the survivors just get on a boat? Heck, a cruise ship? Or live on a beautiful uninhabited tropical island?)
Adjustable lycra bands and 21 super-bright LED’s make zombie-hunting a breeze by keeping both hands free for crossbow and katana wielding.
8. Battery-Operated Lantern
BONUS! It also operates as a USB charger so you can pass the time between Zombie showdowns playing your favorite App (Plants vs. Zombies, perhaps?) And if your phone has a flashlight app … well, let’s hope smartphone batteries have evolved by then.
9. Toilet Paper Wick
So I’m thinking that toilet paper is going to be a pretty precious commodity, but in the event that you’re lucky enough to be holed up in a Charmin factory, here’s an easy way to create a wick out of TP. Combine it with your Crisco Candlestick (or butter as pictured) and you’re all set for a romantic evening (assuming of course that your significant other hasn’t been eaten).
Are you reveling in your post-apocalyptic preparedness now? Don’t keep it to yourself, tell a friend!